Hello! For any of you who don’t know me, I’m Kelly Jamieson and I write “romance with sweet heat”. Some of my romances are sexy contemporary romances, some edge into more erotic romance featuring elements of BDSM or ménage à trois relationships. My most recent release, Rule of Three, is a ménage story.
For many of us, loving someone makes us feel…possessive. As in, “that’s my man, hands off, bitch!” Maybe the reason we sometimes have that possessive feeling about someone we love is because we have the ingrained attitude that you can only love one person at a time. So if some girl is coming on to my man, the deep-rooted fear is that he might be interested in her more than he’s interested in me. Because he can only love one person at a time. Is it possible to get past that, to believe that someone can love two people at the same time, and therefore not feel threatened by that idea?
The principle of compersion might help us understand that. Wickipedia says that “Compersion is a state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individual’s current or former romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest. This can be experienced as any form of erotic or emotional empathy, depending on the person experiencing the emotion.”
In other words, loving someone so much that you feel their happiness. Maybe even feel their arousal.
In some ways, we all know what that’s like, right? Most of us have felt that kind of love, where you’ll do anything for that person, where their happiness is more important than your own. We make sacrifices for love like that. This is what makes the world a better place. This makes that “possessive” attitude seem almost selfish.
I think there are “open” relationships where the participants can explain their feelings using compersion, but I’ve never written a story about an open relationship. Rather, my ménage à trois stories always involve love and exclusive commitment, whether it’s between two of the people or all three.
This is how I got inside the heads of my characters in Rule of Three, out this week from Samhain Publishing, when they had to deal with a three-way attraction. Here’s the blurb for
Rule of Three:
Kassidy is a good girl who wants to be bad. Dag is a bad boy who is very, very good. And Chris? He likes to watch…
When wicked-sexy Dag returns to Chicago to catch up with his old college buddy Chris and meet The Girlfriend, none of them are anticipating the unexpected turn of events that switches a loving twosome into a scorching hot threesome. As old feelings resurface, and new attractions are explored, a storm of sexual sparks is unleashed that leads them into forbidden areas.
Always the good girl, Kassidy blossoms under the attentions of two loving men, but neither she nor Chris are expecting the ménage to take a quarter turn toward Dag…and his feelings for Chris. When it’s revealed that Dag’s attraction to Chris is one big reason he left town, a tangled mess of old hurts and new feelings might destroy friendship. Love. Might destroy everything.
Leave a comment on what you think about jealousy vs. compersion ― possible in real life or just a fantasy? One commenter will win a download of Rule of Three ― I’ll draw the winner Friday evening (February 17). Remember to include your email addy! (Contest is open to international readers)